I had the priviledge of babysitting my twin granddaughters last night. Trepidation was knocking at my hearts door welcoming me to invite in any fear surrounding my capability of this task. Mama said sleep eludes them at night be prepared. This was a mission of love and respite on my part, giving her a time to rest and renew. Sweet precious faces sleeping greeted me early in the evening. I prepared the evening bottles and set up for the coming hours. I decided to set an environment of peace and tranquility. Soft music, a fan gently pushing the air into cool submisison, and soft lighting greeted my little ones. Grandma had this handled no anxiety just practiced anticipation of a lovely evening. Feeling secure in their car seats encased in a warm embrace they slept. I centered myself in a peaceful acceptance of being graced by two sweet innocents. To hold them against my chest to feel their warmth and smell the scent that only babies exude, soft and heartwarming was a blessing. No tears or anxious cries greeted me that night only soft grunts of awakening and a need to be fed. The light cast a shadow on their faces illuminating the gentle curves of their soft cheeks. I felt a peacefulness inside of me, tending to these gentle souls. Complete trust, knowing I was there to tend their every need. An agreement with the Universe to be provided for without thought or worry. They slept for hours in a welcoming presence of love and faith. Even though their concept of the world was not written in words but it was felt and absored by their tiny bodies. To gift myself with an experience of love was a present to be cherished. Totally in the NOW fully present I was awake to duties that are usulaly routine if I allowed it to be. I accepted each moment with anticipation and cherished each precious second. Age blends wisdom and patience and experience into a thoughtful experience. What a blessing to be at this stage in my life where nothing matters but the moment and how blessed I am by it. LOVE
In life judgement is the EGO’s idea of “I see you differently” BUT I do not want to focus on myself. “You ARE not ok but I am.” I want to tell you and the world how badly you are acting and what you can do to make my life easier by conforming to my needs. I stand up close to a problem with a distorted view of it, so I lack perspective. I am right so I make you wrong. Is there any other way of looking at it? I am busy “trying” to figure you out but I never look at myself. What does SELF-AWARE mean? I know WHO “i” am. Who are you? I question with WHY when no answer is available. I perseverate on it until it makes me SAD and it is YOUR fault. My life it happy and I want it to stay that way so do NOT interfere with that (bottom line is I can’t understand why you don’t like me). You said I make myself a VICTIM to a circumstance. How is that possible? This was done TO me, so I am judging your behavior. I was being the person I always am. “What is this thing about a mirror?” Why should I look at myself?
Build a bridge and “Get over it” Find a way of self-evaluating and stand back. When judging others we judge ourselves. It is NEVER about them but about us and how we react to situations and people. We cannot change anyone but we CAN change ourselves and model different behavior. They will change or be out of your life and that is OK. The center of the Universe is YOU but not everyone has to be in that center with you.
Words to contemplate. Time to sit and relax and allow the silence to heal, nurture and guide.
Putting a value on status
will create contentiousness.
If you overvalue possessions,
people will begin to steal.
By not displaying what is desirable, you will
cause the people’s hearts to remain undisturbed.
The sage governs
by emptying minds and hearts,
by weakening ambitions and strengthening bones,
Practice not doing…
When action is pure and selfless,
everything settles into its own perfect place.
(3rd Verse) Loa Tzu
Have you become imprisoned unwilling to forgive?
Are you keeping people out or are the walls
keeping you isolated, alone and bitter?
Have you built walls of separation thinking
you are protecting yourself?
Or are you simply shutting other people out
of your life?
Pleas of forgiveness echo against your walls
Yet you are resistant, hollow to the sound.
You must tear down the walls!
You are at the crossroad, which direction will
Ignoring buries you deeper and deeper into
the pain and contaminates you
and those around you.
Tear down the walls!
Open to forgiveness and allow yourself the
freedom to move forward accepting the
power of love to operate in your life.
MY LIFE WAS A HOLOGRAM OF UNTRUTHS
BELIEFS THAT SHADOWED ME IN DARKENED CORRIDORS
PATTERNS OF THE MIND SUBCONSCIOUSLY DANCED
BEFORE ANY LOGICAL THOUGHT, TEMPTING AND SEDUCING
CONFUSION INTERMINGLED WITH FEAR AND DOUBT
WITHDRAWN FROM RATIONAL REASONING I EMPTIED
MYSELF OF PROVEN FACTS AND SPIRALED DOWNWARDS
INTO A MIRE OF FORGOTTEN DREAMS
MY WORDS WEPT IN REGRET EACH PHRASE A METAPHOR
THE WALLS SUFFOCATED ME DRAWING ME CLOSER AND
CLOSER INTO THE CIRCLE OF MISFORTUNE
BREATH SHALLOW ONE SIGH SWALLOWED WITHIN
A MOMENT OF UNFORGIVENESS
REALITY SLAMMED AGAINST ME WITHOUT AN APOLOGY
I WAS LOST
I DIED TONIGHT
TO AWAKEN TO A DIMENSION OF CONSCIOUS THOUGHT
THAT EXISTED ON THE PRECIPICE OF COURAGEOUS INTENTION
LIGHT WARMED THE PERIMETER OF MY EXISTENCE AND I
SURRENDERED TO THE POSSIBILITY THAT LIFE LIVED WITH PURPOSE
WAS AN UNLIMITED THOUGHT LEANING INTO TRUTH THAT
Describing an event that surpasses any expectation is a valuable gift to hold as a memory. I was attending to my two year old grandson one afternoon when he decided to start screaming instead of expressing vocally. I turned to him and told him to use his words. Then I asked him to sit on the floor with me and start to deep breathe to let go of any anger inside of him. I showed him how to deep breathe. He took in a deep breath and let it out. We did this several times. I told him we were going to meditate. He looked at me and stated “Like the lady?” I was dumbfounded at first not quite understanding what he was trying to articulate. He then went into my bedroom and brought out the figurine I had of a woman sitting in meditation. It holds a candle and he had seen it on my nightstand. I could not find words I was amazed at his ability to understand what that meant. I hugged him and said “Yes, just like the lady.” We put it in front of us and he placed his small hands on his knees and we both took in a breath and sighed on one breath and said Ohm. He repeated it several times and tears were in my eyes of one small innocent learning to sit in the silence and find peace within himself. When I get frustrated he now looks at me and says “Breathe”
A bud opening…
Reaching for the first ray of light
It senses a beautiful life unfolding…
Though unknowing what each moment will offer
With faith, petals out reach…
To touch the sunshine and drink it in
All glory instantaneously fills its being…